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Big cities represent big dreams.

Big fishes in small ponds, swimming towards something greater.

On arrivial, it´s exciting.

The ambition is palpable.

People everywhere you look, all striving towards that "something greater."

The sounds of the city will eventually become background noise,

but in the beginning, it´s your reminder that you´re apart of it.

The big pond.

Why then, amidst all of that excitement,

does it feel so lonely?

When you live in the city, loneliness will find you in unexpected places.

It shows up in the car when you´re stopped in traffic for the third time that day.

It sits with you while you wait for your friends who only come out at night.

It´s right there when the plans fall through.

To feel lonely in a crowed place is a strange feeling.

Like there´s something wrong. An error in your system.

People everywhere, yet no connection to be found.

The abundance of big fish can make you feel pretty small.

You can´t help but feel lost in the mix.

But sometimes, loneliness is a call to come home.

Not back to the small pond, but back to yourself.

There is quiet in the chaos, when you choose to indulge in your own company.

There´s a freedom of finding yourself in a place where no one knows who you are.

There´s a freedom in learning how to be alone.

When you take a different route home, just because you can.

When you finally find your favorite movie theater, coffee shop, the best sushi in the city.

Saying yes when you want to.

Saying no when you want to.

Calling it the night when you feel like going to bed.

The city can transform you if you let it.

If you remember that although the pond is big,

There´s more room to swim.

Big cities are lonely.

Oslo is lonely.

It´s a graveyard of forgotten dreams.

But they never really go away.

And maybe that´s what makes it bearable.

The ghosts of dreamers past, always there to keep us company.

Maybe, they´re just lonely too.

We all have a higher self. I write about this often. The ideal version of oursleves that we´re always striving to become.

We get to discover, or in better words, create that higher self.

It´s anything we want to be.

My higher self is confident. Funny. On time. She remembers birthdays. She loves to read.

She is soft. Gentle. Kind. But also powerful. Larger than life. A force to be reckoned with.

She is vulnerable, but extremely secure in herself. She doesn´t tolerate guilt or shame.

She is unbothered with how others percieve her.

My higher self is cool. She gives the best advice. She can sit in boardrooms with billionaires and command the energy.

She is present in her life. An intentional lover. A consistent friend.

I have daydreamed of this woman for most of my life. The dreaming, is the fun part. I´ve spent years perfecting her Pinterest board in my head.

But when do we get to become that person?

Better yet, how do we become that person?

One word.

And it´s going to give you flashbacks from piano lessons.


I know it´s kind of obvious and a little anticlimactic, but let me blow your mind with this quote.

"The universe isn´t testing you. It´s just giving you an opportunity to practice who you say you want to be."


The universe isn´t TESTING us. It´s giving us opportunities to PRACTICE WHO WE SAY WE ARE!

This has created a shift in mindset for me.

I now look at the obstacles in my day as challenges. Almost like a game.

An opportunity for me to show up as my higher self. To handle the situation as she would.

If my higher self is patient, how am I ever going to get there without situations that would require me to demonstrate patience?

These challenges, these opportunities to show up as our higher selves, are sprinkled throughout our day. They´re everywhere.

And acknowledging one of these "challenges" is half of overcoming it.

Most of the time, we are too conditioned and comfortable in our ways to even realize we´re being given opportunities to change.

So now, when I am faced with uncomfortable feelings and unfortunate events, I try to find that opportunity.

What quality in my higher self will I embody if I overcome this situation?

I´ve had two last years of trying to rebuild my confidence from square one.

It´s felt nearly impossible at times.

Some days, I have it all figured out. I´m on top of the world. And the next day, some random girl makes a comment about how much she doesn´t like me...and I´m back to square one again.

But once I read that quote, about the universe giving us practice to be who we say we are, I had a major breakthrough.

Every time I come across a mean video, a defamatory comment, or anything that threatens my self esteem, I realize I have the chance to put my confidence into action.

I imagine God saying, "Hey, don´t look at me. You asked for this. You wanted this!"

Because at the end of the day, that is what I want. The highest version of myself is wildly confident. Bottom line. It´s one of the most important qualities my higher self possesses. Its one of the first things people say about her. She shows up as herself in every room she walks into. She thinks so highly of herself, it doesn´t matter if anyone thinks differently. Her cup is filled first and foremost. She is unaffected by how others view and perceive her. She knows she is enough, and she knows thats enough.

So how do I bridge the gap between THAT girl, and the girl I am?


Like anything we want to be good at. Practice.

I now look at arguements as now opportunities for me to practice communicating effectively and in a calm manner. (older me is wayyyyy good at that.)

Traffic and long grocery store lines are now chances for me to practice being present and patient.

When I´m feeling intimidated and overwhelmed careerwise, I know it´s time for me to practice being a leader.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Until you catch up to THAT girl.

I promise you will.

I wouldn´t say I´m all the way there yet. To being my higher self. And I guess that´s the next we ever fully arrive? Or is life just picking up those versions of us along the way?

I don´t know but I guess I have a little while to figure it out.

But I will say, that with only a few months of "practice" confidence is already growing.

My foundation is secure as fuck.

I know exactly who I am, and I have come such a long way.

Now, when I come across a mean comment, I take pleasure in understanding I have a choice.

A choice to react, and handle it as I have been, or a choice to be strong and keep scrolling.

A choice to step in and BE my higher self.

What would she do?

And the answer is always easy.

She´d keep scrolling.

So with her as my guide, I keep scrolling too.

I love you

Keep practicing :´)


Oppdatert: 4. jul.

Yesterday, I opened my Instagram app and the first thing popping up on my feed was a bikini selfie of Kim Kardashian. It had been like a good year since last time I checked out her profile. Suddenly I was finding myself in a Kim Kardashian scrolling hour. No complaints! But one post really stuck out to me. It was a selfie of her and her kids. She was wearing a gloved bodysuit in a sort of metallic material that resembled a garbage bag. On her face, massive bug eye sunglasses. Her kids dooned similar looks all complete with the same lenses. In the caption, she tagged @yeezy.

I ran to the comment section because at that time it had been months since Kim had publicly aligned with her ex husband in any way.

But the comments that caught my eye had to do with the outfit itself.

The comments were angry. Angry at how Kanye and Kim can keep pushing this bullshit "fashion" on us.

"This is trash. Literally"

"Does he think anyone actually likes this or is he really that stupid?"

"This is the stupidest shit I´ve ever seen"

"Kanye has lost his touch"

"It´s giving alien"

"How can people call this fashion?"

I thought about this post a little longer than I probably should have. (Maybe a little wine was involved, but just know, I was deep in my head.)

I have my own mixed feelings about Kanye, but something I´ve always admired about him is his ability to experiment. The freedom he has to experiment.

I envy that a little bit. He is not tied down by social constructs.

Kanye doesn´t care about what´s cool.

Speaking of aliens, what would they think about us? And our lifelong mission to be percieved as "cool"?

How do we explain Juvaderm? Or Photoshop? How do we justify the overall purpose of social media? I want to see someone explain The Renegade challenge to an alien.

I cringe when I think about how much of my life I have wasted trying to prove that I was cool.

That I was with it. I was aware. I fit in. I fit the mold.

I was the type of girl to say I loved a band I´d never heard of so I could attempt to control how people thought of me. I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to think I was cool enough to know the cool bands.

But who decides what bands are the cool bands anyway???

Seriously, who decides any of this? What´s on trend, what is "cheugy" - its all made up.

The reason I bring up aliens is because it seems as though it would take an otherworldly intervention for us to see how crazy this all really is.

That we live and die by trends.

That we let other people tell us what is cool, what is socially acceptable, what´s in and what´s out.

This is how we shape our society.

But what if instead of trying to prove ourselves, we started intentionally focusing on expressing ourselves?

Not taking into consideration what your friends think is cool, or what tiktok thinks is cool.

What if we genuinely embraced what we actually liked?

I hate bananas. Since I was a kid. I gag at the thought. I´ve returned to bananas throughout my life, hoping my palette had matured.

But no matter how many times society tries to sell me that bananas are tastebuds simply disagree.

Taylor Swift could personally invite me to her concert backstage, braid my hair, put red lipstick on me, hand me a banana, sing to me "cardigan" while I eat it.

I´m still not going to like bananas.

I wish we could honor our interests the way we honor the food we love (and hate.) Because nobody cares if I like bananas or not.

But if I wear something bold, or revealing, if my nipple barely pokes through my shirt, all hell breaks loose.

If I admit that I lowkey enjoy The O.C from time to time, some people contemplate sending me for a wellness check.

What if I like The O.C´s teenage drama and love stories?? Why is loving that sill so controversial?

To me, this is what makes the human experience so exciting. The fact that it is so completely individual. Each of us are viewing reality from a different lens that cannot be replicated. We are all perfectly unique. It sounds very Pinterest, very Hobby Lobby, but I´m telling you - once you grasp how incredible this is, you finally start to value your individuality.

Why do you like bananas and I hate them? Why does Sara l0ve learning about cooking and the band Queen and I have a fixation with unresolved true crime??

I´m over what the collective public thinks is cool.

I want to know what YOU think. In your rare, exclusive mind.

Based off of your one of a kind life experience...what is cool to you?

I want to know the woo-woo you subscribe to. That you don´t want to tell anyone else about.

I want to see the shoebox filled with birthday cards you´ve kept since you were six.

I am actually interested in your Spotify playlists. I want to know what songs you connect with. I can google the top 40 hits. Give me YOU.

It just makes me think,

What would I wear if there were no models, no Shein hauls, no popular girls or influencers trying to convince me what is hot or not?

What would I wear if there was no possibility I would get made fun of?

What would I wear if I were simlpy experimenting?

How would your life change?

If no one cared about being "cool" and instead, just owned what was cool to them?

What is that thing that is just for you?

Tyler The Creator also talks about this.

"Being cool, having the biggest songs don´t matter all the time. It´s, what is your skill? What is the skill that you bring?"

We all have a skill. We all have a lane. What would our world looked like if we all found our lane?

I also love when he says,

"You can´t be too cool or you´re gonna freeze to death"

This resonates with me. It´s easy to get caught up in what other people want.

But at the end of the day, what´s the point of wearing stuff I don´t like?

The clothes I wear is an expression of me. Of my most real self.

This is my lane.

I´m experimenting.

Because I care. I care about the details. I care about what I put out.

And that´s cool. Giving a fuck is cool!!

My favorite example of this is kids.

Kids are cool, because they have no concept of what that really means.

I was watching kids the other day while I was walking with Teddy (our dog) in the park. Just observing them in their little world. They´re so facinating to me.

How they´re so perfectly themselves. When they want something, they ask for it. They make their needs known whenever they have the chance.

They aren´t worried about people pleasing. Or being "too much." They don´t fear their friends and family getting sick of them and their needs.

They just are.

And holy shit it´s so cool.

I love how much they love what they love.

There was especially this one kid at the park that I couldn´t help but notice. He was really into Toy Story. The joy of his life is him zoom around the park, trying to balance on one foot and "fly" like Buzz Lightyear.

He never once stopped to think about looking silly. Or annoying. Or cool for that matter.

The boy just loved Buzz.

I know this goes broader than fashion, but it´s easy for me to connect to.

Because if a kid likes minions, he´s going to wear his minions shirt on the first day of school. And he´s not worried about being made fun of or being cool.

And that´s what I love about kids. This is why I´m always trying to be more like them.

More curious. More playful. Less concerned with how they look. True to themselves!

I dream of a life where people are unapologetic about their interests and hobbies.

I dream of a world where we can express our true self through our art, through our words, through our passions.

And someday, I hope we realize that honest self the coolest thing of all time.

Honor your individuality. Respect your unique human experience. Find out what you love and shout it from the rooftops.

And I know we talked about how lame it is to live and die by trends, but let´s just get one thing clear:



"I think I´m just an open book. I´m very vulnerable, I´ve always felt the need to share. I think because I felt quite misunderstood my whole life that there´s been this need to share what I´m thinking so I can get validation that I´m not alone. And so that´s something that´s always come naturally to me, and over the years people will make comments like: how do you say stuff like that, how do you open up about this stuff, how are you not scared or embarrassed. And over time it made me a little insecure like I should be embarrassed of that or I should be more nervous or wary of sharing everything. I´ve definitely learned over the years what to keep private and what to share but I´ve also come to terms that that´s part of my magic. I definitely think that there are some people in the world who share easily and are able to open up more. And then there´s people who aren´t, and that doesn´t mean one is good or bad. It just means we need both. And I think if we didn´t have people like me we would be so lonely in the world. The connection that makes us feel seen, that makes us feel understood, that comes from people who are brave enough to share what they really feel. I´ve come to a really good place of acceptance that that´s who I am, its nothing to be ashamed about and I just try to lean into it now."

Sof <3



Hi! My name is Sofie Marie, but only my family uses both names.

You can call me Sofie. Soph. Sophie. All mighty goddesses in the world, what flows best.

To have the slightly more philosophical conversations, and to write, is a part of me. The philosophical questions and the writing are just always there. It is in my nature. I hardly consider them hobbies, they're just part of who I am.


Here, I share my thoughts as a 22-year-old, and my 22 years of experience, and yes, I could do it privately.

I could use my creative energy to fill hundreds of journals. But making it public is a way for me to connect with very cool people because they are and think in the same ways as me.

I love people. I love learning about people. I love connecting. And that's what this day and age is all about. Connection. You couldn´t connect with people in 1986 in the same way you can now in 2023. You just couldn´t. There are more opportunities now than ever before, and that's the simplest reason I can give you as to why I share so much of myself online. Maybe it's because I require social validation. Maybe it's because one day I want to show my kids how cool their mother was. But when it comes down to it, I use this platform to connect. With YOU! I want to inspire people. I want to help people. Through documenting my own life, I want to make someone´s day a little better. And that is the sole purpose of this blog.


And I hope you stick around for a while.





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